Give me coffee or give me death!

From Right Wing News

How the heck did I miss this?

Apparently the recent discussions about Obamacare's health care mandate and the whole kerfuffle surrounding Sandra "my law school tuition is $45,000 a year but I should get free birth control" Fluke have led some people to start examining whether the government should mandate other benefits:

Wall Street Journal | Coffee Is an Essential Benefit Too

Studies show that coffee can ward off depression, Alzheimer's disease, type 2 diabetes and sleepiness—which makes it one of the most powerful preventive treatments. Workers who drink java are also more productive and pleasant. While many offices have coffee makers, some employers—most notably those affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—continue to deny workers this essential benefit. All employers should have to provide workers with freshly brewed coffee. Oh, and workers must also be able to choose the kind of coffee regardless of the price.

Republicans might argue that requiring Mormon charities to serve coffee is a violation of "religious liberty" since the Mormon church's doctrine proscribes coffee, but this argument is a red herring. Leading medical experts recommend drinking coffee. Moreover, 99% of adults have drunk coffee at one point in their lives (including most Mormons)...

Read the rest of the article here. I enjoyed how the author points out the fallacy of the Democrats' cries that failing to require employers to buy something for their employees is the same as banning it, and also how thin the argument is for requiring a religious organization to do something that violates one of their core beliefs in the name of some purported "health benefit."

Anyone who has read this blog or followed me on Twitter for more than five minutes is aware that I am a self-proclaimed caffeine addict. I have to have my coffee in the morning, or it just isn't pretty.

Clearly, this is devastating addiction is a disability and the government ought to be subsidizing my coffee. You had better believe I am willing to testify before Congress as to the positive effects of Barnie's Hazelnut flavored coffee. And hey, at only $10.99 per 12 oz bag, it's only slightly more expensive than a month's supply of birth control pills! (That is, the actual sales price of the pills, not the completely facetious number that Ms. Fluke pulled out of thin air.)

Further reading:

Legal Insurrection | A Coffee mandate leaves me unsatisfied